Fragile
by jessng
Summary: Classic motif of Ralph confronting Jack the night after he left the tribe, supposing that there is a one-day gap between Jack leaving the tribe and the feast at Castle Rock.


Jack looks at the trembling blond boy in front of him. His spear is held tight in his right hand and his left fist clenches. The paint on his face is fading. Having the thick layer of paint on his skin is quite uncomfortable to him, and he mentally reminds himself to clean it afterwards.

"Please.." Ralph starts, his voice is like a whisper. "Please.. stop this."

"Stop what?" Jack replies coldly. To him, there is nothing wrong in the way he acts, and the wrong one is Ralph, for an unknown reason.

"Stop acting like this. You're breaking us up. At this rate we're never going to be rescued." Ralph's eyes stare at the ground. "We're going to be here until we rot away."

"We need meat. Besides, if no one finds us, we can still survive here, we've plenty of pigs."

"Yes, we have pigs, but what will happen when all the pigs die? How are you going to eat then? We need to be rescued." The blond boy looks up. He raises his voice. The big ocean blue eyes behind the bangs appear hurt and watery, which almost make the redhead feel guilty. Almost.

"We-needed-meat!" Jack grinds his teeth together and takes a step forward, making Ralph's feet subconsciously take a step back. His pair of tattered shorts is not enough to keep his nakedness in oblivion. His bare chest is an inch away from touching Ralph's clothed one.

"But we need to be rescued more." Ralph looks up at the taller boy. He is just a few inches away from being trapped between Jack and a tree. The memories of home and family rush to him like the tidal waves out there. He clenches his fists next to his thighs. The water in his eyes fill up as his mind makes him recall everything he can remember from his childhood.

Jack watches in amusement as the blond boy struggles to keep in his tears. He loosens the grip on his spear, for he knows that Ralph cannot do anything in this state. The sight of the other one breaking right in front of him fills him to the brink with the euphoria from superiority. Ralph looks to the ground again as the beads of water begin rolling down on his cheeks.

"Don't you want to be rescued, Jack? Or would you rather stay here in this bloody hellhole and rot until there's nothing left but your bones. And your mother and father, and the whole society will forget about you because they can't find you, and then your whole existence will fade away just like that." The voice that used to bear authority is now shattering like a piece of glass. Ralph's shoulders shake and his breath is heavy. The images flood his mind again.

"Why do you care so much about being remembered?" Jack's voice pierces through his body like a sharp, long spike. "It's not like you worth better than anyone anyway."

"Because.. because.." Ralph wipes his tears with a dirty sleeve of his torn shirt, trying to find a reason.

It dawns on him again. Trying not to accept the truth is something he has been doing the whole day, but it just does not work anymore.

"Why do you hate me?" With this, his tears flow down even more rapidly. He reaches a shaking hand out, wanting to touch the opposite person, but it does not work like that anymore, and he lets his hand fall defeatedly next to his thigh. "I liked you, and I still do. Honestly." His bitten nails dig into the flesh of his palms, his teeth gnaw his bottom lip, and the warm liquid pours out from his eyes. "I tried, but you still don't like me. Despite that, I still like you, a lot. I know it's wrong, and I know you've done a lot of bad things, but I guess that's the thing when you like someone, you try and ignore all the bad things they do because to you, they always shine. I know that because I like you. I tried, a lot. I tried to ignore all the things you do because I don't want you to hate me, yet–" He chokes on his own words and lets out a loud sob "–yet, you–" The despair that comes along with the word is too much for Ralph to even say it.

Jack does not reply to this right away. His narrow light blue eyes scrutinize the blond locks and the broken voice. He has never seen Ralph like this, fragile, like a cracked piece of glass. One slight tap, and everything breaks. He runs his tongue across his dry lips. The desire of taking control overwhelms him again.

"Beg."

Ralph jumps at this sudden command. There is just so much unexplainable power in that one word and it makes Ralph feel small to Jack.

"Beg for me to stop." Jack continues, a grin finds its way to his lips. "If you do it, maybe I'll consider." He is sure the dignified Ralph will never accept it. It is just a way for Jack to mess around with him a little. Ralph's angers always amuse Jack to an inexplicable extent.

But, to his surprise, Ralph slowly kneels down before him, his shoulders still trembling terribly. He puts his palms against the ground and his face is only half an inch from the humid earth. Jack can feel the warmth radiating from Ralph's face to his feet and the tears rolling down hastily.

"Please–" Ralph whispers "–stop. I beg of you."

Jack is hit by a sudden wave of guilt. He clenches his jaw, not knowing what is it he is feeling. He puts a foot on Ralph's golden hair, hesitating because of how soft it is, and pushes his head to the ground. He hears Ralph gasping underneath his foot and lifts the foot up, only to stomp it again, harder. His bare foot presses into the blond hair, preventing Ralph from getting up. It comes to Jack's astonishment that the other boy does not even bother to fight back. He grinds his foot harder, trying to get some reaction, but he only receives a soft voice in return.

"I told you already, I like you. That's why I'm not going to object."

This time, an even stranger wave of feeling hits Jack. He lifts his foot and lifts Ralph up by his hair. His hand digs into the soft locks, wanting to violate them along with their owner. Ralph's face is covered with dirt, but his big and round ocean blue eyes are still open, looking at Jack from behind the bangs. Jack hates them. They make him feel "things". He catches the sight of the soft smile on the other one's lips, trying their best not to look like a grimace. Now that Jack notices it, his heart is beating like crazy. He pins Ralph to a tree, his gaze is furious and fixated on the other's entire dirt-covered face.

"Why do I hate you?" Jack stresses at the word "hate". Ralph stares at him, his blue eyes are watery again. They sparkle, which irritates Jack even more. "Let me tell you why. It's because you're perfect. You get their attention right away, you got elected as chief, you have all the power in your hands but you never use all of it. I hate you because you're beautiful. Your hair is soft and they're this perfect golden color. Your skin is without blemishes, you don't have these bloody freckles. Your body is perfect. Your life is perfect. And your eyes–" Jack stops to catch his breath "–they're the best things I've ever seen in my life. They give me weird feelings. They put me in a trance. They make me like you. Why do I feel these things? I don't know. Why do I hate you?" His fierce gaze moves down to the pink lips. "Because you make me like you, Ralph. I hate you because I like you."

Jack's lips crash into Ralph's right after his sentence ends. This takes the blond boy by surprise, making a gasp escape his throat, but he soon closes his eyes. Jack acts savage even in a kiss and the way he does it sends pleasure running through Ralph's body. He deepens the kiss. The distance between them decreases to zero. Jack's naked chest presses to Ralph's. It is a long minute or two of them melting in each other's mouths before Ralph breaks the kiss and gasps for air.

Jack separates himself from Ralph and turns to walk away without another word.

"Does this mean you will stop?"

"I never said I would stop. I only said I would consider stopping."

Ralph stands still as he watches the redhead walk away from him. Maybe all of Jack's confession is just a lie, a lie to get him to kiss Jack, because he knows Ralph is not going to object. He wipes the tears and dirt from his face with a torn sleeve.

He had been crying when they kissed

The boundary between a lie and the truth is just as fragile as he is right now.

A slight tap, and everything will be shattered.


End file.
